If your first few thoughts when you have a big goal are about all the reasons why you won’t be able to achieve it, then this episode is for you. What you need is a process you can take yourself through to feel self-empowerment truly.
Think about it, if you felt genuinely self-empowered, what would be your thought process when it comes to living the life you’ve daydreamed about or those big goals? You’d probably say something like, “it’s as good as done,” right?
You may not totally believe this thought right now, but if you do the six steps to self-empowerment that I’m going to share in this episode, you can.
These steps are a self-coaching process. I do these exact steps every time I set a new goal in my business or my life that feels impossible, and I take my one-on-one coaching clients through it too. These steps help me coach myself to improve my mindset and performance, so I get closer and closer to the results I want.
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Where people get this wrong
They jump straight to the action when they think about how to accomplish a goal. But if they don’t have a thought or belief that supports it, their actions won’t produce the result they want.
For example, if you want to lose 10 pounds, but don’t believe you CAN lose weight, you won’t take the actions you’d need to lose the weight.
There are only six steps here, but there’s a lot of info in this episode. This is a process you can use over and over for any area of your life you want to improve. Imagine setting a new goal and actually working through fear and self-doubt that pops up and use it as fuel to achieve anything you want! Let’s get to it!
1) Awareness of Beliefs holding you back
You can’t face what you can’t see
We so often get wrapped up in the small things of day-to-day life, and it’s hard to see the bigger picture or patterns. This step will help you make your beliefs clear.
These might not seem obvious if you’ve spent a long time avoiding them.
When you hear yourself say, “Oh, I don’t think I have self-doubt holding me back,” but you haven’t gotten your desired result or achieved your big goal.
You can find these by asking yourself where you are, where you want to be, and what’s stopping you from getting there.
Since some of these won’t be obvious, make a running list of self doubt thoughts when you hear them or other self-limiting beliefs when they pop up.
You can keep a journal to write them all down — that’s what I did. Or, you can keep this list on your phone in your notes app.
You want to write these down so that way after a week or so, you can come back and see patterns.
What thought or theme comes up more often than anything else?
This is the one you want to work through first. Use the rest of the remaining steps in this episode to entirely work through this belief and replace it then move on to the others.
For example, maybe you’ll notice that all of your excuses and doubt revolves not having enough time. You’ll want to work through this first since time is what you’re giving most of your power over to.
2) Challenge those beliefs
You can’t go straight from a belief that doesn’t serve you and that you want to give up into a new empowering belief. First, we need to take some power away from these beliefs, so they don’t have a hold on you.
They have so much power over you because you’ve never questioned them before. It’s like they’ve had total autonomy over you. This is just like how a Dictator holds on to power.
Dictators are so powerful because NO ONE questions them. Dictators go to great lengthens to make sure their actions go unchallenged.
But regimes start to fall when the population begins to question their leader. Once one person begins to question them, soon enough, the whole population does.
This is pretty much what we’re doing here. Your thoughts and beliefs that don’t help you get to your goal is the dictator you’re challenging.
You can start to challenge these beliefs by asking thoughtful questions that challenge their validity.
Ask yourself questions like:
- “Why do I believe this?”
- “Does this HAVE to be true for me?”
- “If this thought is true for me, how can I turn this into an empowering belief?”
- “What actions would I take today if I believed in the opposite?” “Can I take those actions anyway?”
These questions might seem like a lot, or weird to ask yourself, but that’s good. If you want empowering beliefs about yourself that you’ve never had, then you’ve got to do things you’ve never done.
After a while of challenging your thoughts that don’t make you feel good about yourself, you’ll see that you don’t have to keep believing them if you don’t want to.
3) Establish new beliefs that will lead to self-empowerment
Go back and see where you are right now vs. where you want to be. What are the beliefs that you’d need to have about yourself to get there?
Those might be the opposite of the disempowering beliefs that don’t serve you. Or something else entirely.
DON’T EDIT YOURSELF HERE
If there’s something that comes to mind that you KNOW would get you to where you want to be. Or even just something you WANT to believe but are too scared to say aloud because you don’t think it’s believable DO NOT LEAVE IT OUT.
This is exactly what you’ve been doing for a long time, and it’s the thing that’s keeping you from your desired results. Remember, if you want something you’ve never done, you’ve got to do something you’ve never done.
After you figure out what it is, write it down and make it visible. We’re going to come back to these.
4) Build evidence so you can genuinely believe these self-empowering beliefs
You’ve been making decisions based on PROBABILITY vs. POSSIBILITY. That’s why the life you daydream about feels so far away: it feels impossible.
When you practice shifting into the mindset of working towards POSSIBILITY, your actions look a lot different. You don’t sell yourself short before you try something.
You can avoid this by consciously getting OUT of probability mindset and INTO possibility mindset.
Ask yourself, “If I believed this goal was possible, what would I DO today?” Then put that task into your calendar.
Think about your mind like a courthouse. And your new self empowered belief is the case that’s being debated.
You are the Judge, Jury, Prosecution, and defense attorney.
The prosecution — the part of you that doubts yourself, or reminds you of how you don’t have what it takes — has A LOT of practice. You’ve spent decades giving it evidence, so that prosecution attorney is TOTALLY confident they’ll win the case because of the piles of evidence on their table.
But the defense — the part of you that stands up for yourself and believes that you can accomplish your dreams — is nervous as hell. He’s scrambling because he has no evidence. It’s like he has good intentions, but without a strategy or evidence, there’s no help that he’ll win.
Your job is to give that defense attorney some evidence so they can win the case!
Consciously — and actively — look for evidence to back up your new beliefs.
Even if it seems like a minor detail of how you’ve done it before, add it to your evidence pile.
Ask yourself often, “How is my new empowering belief, true?” “What about me MAKES this true?”
The better and better you get at answering these questions, the more naturally you’ll start to believe this.
5) Create a game plan from THOSE beliefs
Most people start here when they want to get a different result in their life or accomplish a goal. It’s like putting a bandaid on the wrong spot when you’re bleeding.
Get into FULLY FEELING this belief BEFORE you create a to-do list.
Your actions change based on the way you feel. If you want your actions to lead the desired result you want, then you’ve got to get into the feeling that will spur you into the action you need to take.
Review the evidence you’ve gathered in the last step to get into belief. Do this over and over until you actually feel the shift in your body.
Once you feel it, THEN start thinking of the actions you need to take. Most likely, you’ll have inspiration hit you, and you’ll be bursting with ideas to help you get to where you want to go.
6) Evaluate Actions and Readjust
This is where you build resiliency in your self because you’ll learn to separate your emotions and opinions from facts.
GOAL IS TO STAY OBJECTIVE and separate fact from fiction.
Keep in mind when you say something like, “Well, of course, that happened! I didn’t have what it takes” or “I didn’t even lose 1 pound” or something like that.
These types of statements *feel* true, but aren’t facts. Facts would be something that someone else can verify, proven in a court—things like numbers, stats, etc.
When you think about ANY result in your life from emotion, you take all power away.
Like with a result you DID want, you convince yourself it was a fluke.
From a result you didn’t want, you reaffirm your original disempowering belief.
After you separate the fact from your opinion, take a look at what worked, what didn’t work, and what you’ll do differently.
The more you do this as you take action on your goal, the more effective your actions will be. Also, you’ll always know what to do. You’ll never be stuck or in confusion.
Where to go from here
I know this sounds like a lot. So go at your own pace. That’s why, in the beginning, I recommend that you take ONE belief through this process. If you stay consistent with these steps, the better and better you become.
Also, as you start to see results doing this, you’ll trust yourself. You’re keeping your word to yourself and following through on something you said you would do.
This is something you can 100% do on your own. You have everything you need to implement these today. All you need is a pen, paper, and the willingness to get a little uncomfortable to be able to get to where you want to go.
The way this works, though, is with consistency. This is NOT a one and done situation. If you want to see results form this step by step, you HAVE to stay consistent — even when you don’t feel like it.
If you want to get results from this in half the time and want support and accountability to make it happen, you GOT to see if coaching with me is right for you. Schedule a time for a one on one video consultation with me to talk about where you are, where you want to go, what you think is in your way, what’s ACTUALLY in your way and a step by step plan for you to get to where you want to go.
Pick a time that works well for you, and I’ll email you with next steps!
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