“You’re not good enough” Ugh, how many times do you hear limiting beliefs like that in your head each day? The scary thing about thinking this is the more you hear it, the more you start to believe it. I’ve got good news, though, you CAN overcome limiting beliefs.
I fundamentally believe that changing your mindset is possible as long as you’re aware of your thoughts and so does my guest for this week.
Natasha Black is a personal transformation coach and teaches women how to live their life as a true expression of themselves.
If you’re short on time, you can catch the highlights of the podcast episode below. But, I would recommend taking a listen if you can! Natasha’s energy is infectious and she shares so many gems I couldn’t share here.
listen to the episode here:
Stop looking outside happiness & validation
We often shape our adult lives around how we grew up as children, whether it’s from lessons learned from our parents or the environment in which we lived. Most of us grew up learning when you were able to have lots of material goods and happy relationships, then life was good. If you had times in your childhood full of abundance and stability that usually meant life was good and when you experienced a loss or unexpected money problems, you’d associated that with being bad.
Learning about happiness coming from within isn’t something we’re taught as children. So when we go into adulthood, a lot of us take that same mentality with us. “If I have a good relationship and a good job, then I’ll be happy” is a thought that runs through most of our minds.
Looking for happiness in external circumstances isn’t sustainable because we can’t control other people or things outside of ourselves. The only constant in our lives is us.
How to clear our negative self-talk
…Or the “mind chatter” as Natasha calls it. ☺️
1. Change the way you think about the “bad Stuff”
Natasha asks “What if nothing bad ever happened to you? Who would you be?” Definitely not the same person you are today. You can’t grow if there’s nothing to grow from, right? The curveballs thrown at you through life is what shapes who you are.
2. Recognize Limiting beliefs you started as a child
So while you’re not looking at every bad situation as a totally negative thing, you’ve got to look on the other hand, too. Natasha says when trauma happens to us as children (no matter how big or small) it leaves an imprint on us that sometimes leads to a lifelong limiting belief.
She says most people are walking around as adults with these limiting beliefs from our childhood, but they’ve never gotten past it. Being aware of the thoughts going on in your head is the first step to getting over them.. Are they limiting beliefs about how you can’t do something or aren’t good enough?
Ask yourself when you started thinking like this. Are these thoughts from the childhood version of you? If they are, think about how much you’ve grown and changed since then.
Not sure what to do next? Natasha has a 5 step process to help you out…
Natasha’s 5 steps on how to overcome limiting beliefs
1. Become aware
Notice your feeling and what you’re saying to yourself. If it’s the limiting belief of not being “good enough” start to take note of how often you say something like that to yourself
2. Acknowledge and accept
Once you become aware of your thoughts and notice patterns, acknowledge what’s happening without judgment. Maybe that sounds like having a conversation with yourself like, “Ok, I’m noticing I’m having a belief around not being good enough.” Don’t beat yourself up for what you find out. In order to release it, you have to know what it is and not beat yourself up about it.
3. question it
Start to ask yourself questions like, “Why am I feeling this right now? Is there something that just happened that triggered this? How often does this happen? How far back can I remember having this feeling?” Natasha says to turn detective here.
You want to find the truth, so you’ve got to be objective. No judgment, fear or frustrations here. You want to find a way to release this belief, so you’ve got to find where it comes from without extra emotion getting in the way.
Pro-tip: Journal your findings!
4. Challenge it
After you find the history behind this belief, start to challenge it. Natasha says to ask yourself questions like, “Do I really want to carry this belief with me?”.
When you ask yourself questions like “Is there a better way to think about this?”. Again be objective and high-level about this. This is where the real magic happens. Breakthroughs happen here.
5. Change it
Now it’s action time. Think about ways you can keep that mindset shift. Maybe that’s by journaling every day or committing to gently re-direct your thoughts away from the limiting belief.
Whatever you decide, stick with it and be consistent. Change only happens when you take action.
You don’t have to take this step alone. If you need to lean on someone to help you, don’t feel afraid to. If you need therapy to help get over past wounds, go to therapy. Never feel bad for needing help.
pin for later
When she was 15, she made the decision to be happy. She continued to look for things that made her happy. But they were all things that were outside of herself. By the time she turned 30, that’s when things felt like they were crashing around her. That’s when she figured out what happiness comes from within. And now she teaches other women to find their happiness from within.
Now how will you overcome your limiting beliefs?
You have something special to bring to this world, so don’t let your limiting beliefs and negative self-talk get in the way of sharing it! I’d love to hear how you’re not letting anything get in your way. Let me know in the comments below.
And if you want more like this, free resources and stories make sure to download my FREE Core Value Journal. Use this to find out what’s really important and start to feel more fulfillment in your life. 💚