There are a few emotions I really don’t like feeling, but insignificance is one of the worst. When I was in my corporate career, and totally not aligned with what I was doing, I felt like I was small and insignificant all the time.
Turns out, it was because there wasn’t ANY part of my day devoted to living my purpose or what made me feel truly fulfilled. If you’re currently similar at all to how I was, then you probably hear yourself talking about how there’s no point in even trying to work on what’s fulfilling. Maybe it’s because of a lack of time or other circumstances, but I promise it’s something deeper than that, which we’ll get into today.
This episode will help you feel valuable and confident in yourself because you’ll see how to start living your purpose TODAY, even if you’re feeling insignificant.
Let’s start with where you probably are right now, shall we?
“Why bother?” mindset only stops you from living your purpose if you let it.
Have you ever felt like you were so stuck in negativity it was like quicksand and seemed like NOTHING would pull you out?
I have. Almost every time I did, it was because I wanted to change my life and make an impact, but it felt like I could do nothing.
Enter: the “Why Bother?” stage. It’s when you think there’s no point in trying to do what’s important to you or change your life because you don’t think there’s anything that you can do.
It’s because you’re unconsciously picking thoughts that reaffirm this belief.
You get to pick and choose which thoughts and beliefs you want to keep. We have over 60,000 thoughts a day, so while it’s not always possible to control every thought you ever have, it IS possible to decide which of those thoughts you decide is valuable and that serve you.
This is incredibly helpful when it comes to getting out of a slump. As you become aware of the thoughts you hear about you, then you can practice choosing whether they’re ones you want to give weight to or redirect them to ones that will help you become the version of you that you want to be. We’ll talk about this later on.
A simple way to do this is by asking yourself, “Will continuing to think this help me accomplish my goals?“
Asking questions like this one keeps you from getting stuck in a “Low-Grade Question” cycle. This is when you ask yourself questions over and over that make you become more freaked out or upset that you don’t actually answer. You rarely answer these questions. Instead, you move on to another equally low-grade question that keeps you stuck where you are.
Like, “Why bother?” turns into “I can’t make a real difference, so why even try?” and so on.
Instead of getting stuck in that cycle again, try answering it before moving on. Actually, make your brain come up with an answer that moves you forward. This turns it into a “High-Grade Question.”
Answering yourself when you ask a question helps you not discount your significance. Think about this. It only takes one pebble to make a ripple. Or one (or a few) people start a worldwide pandemic! Even if you set out today and only make an impact on ONE other person, that could cause a huge ripple effect.
A rising tide lifts all boats, so when you raise the tide to lift YOUR boat, many other’s boats get lifted, too!
Stop wasting time/money/energy on stuff to avoid feeling unfulfilled.
Feel the urge to eat cake, grab another bottle of wine, or place another order on Amazon? It’s your body telling you something, and it’s not something you can eat, drink or buy.
It’s telling you to make a change and take action on something fulfilling, NOT just something that makes you feel better at the moment. I’m about to give you some tough love.
Your body and feelings never lie. You can try and lie to yourself about how your circumstances don’t allow you to take action on living your purpose now, — or keep waiting for the “right time”– but deep down, you know that it’s something else.
Challenge yourself when you want to do/buy/eat your way of avoiding figuring out and living your purpose. These examples of eating, drinking, and buying are like a combination of inaction and reaction. They’re triggered by beliefs you have about yourself and help you avoid them. But if you challenge them, they become less powerful.
What are you doing in your current life that isn’t aligned with your purpose in any way? Are there small ways you could be more aligned today? Right NOW?
Time/Money/Energy wasters keep you right where you are — feeling unfulfilled and small by allowing you to bypass the crappy “un-fulfillment” feeling. That’s why it’s so important to be aware of these.
The quality of our lives = The quality of our decisions. So decide wisely.
Will that new bookshelf help you start living your purpose? Or can you save that and use it to invest in yourself and your mindset that will grow in value with time (instead of things that will become less valuable over time).
Think about the decisions you make in EVERY area of life, like what you consume (both food AND internet), what you buy and how you spend your time.
Things change when you start making decisions about your day and your life that are different than ones you’ve made in the past. Speaking of decisions, let’s talk now about making daily decisions that will make living your purpose sooner rather than later.
Tap into your highest self to live your purpose TODAY
Ok, let’s get a little meta for a minute.
They say hindsight is 20/20, and I say let’s tap into that slightly earlier on. Tapping into your future/highest self — the version of you that you want to become — is the best way to keep from getting stuck or spinning in confusion.
Spinning in indecision and feeling stuck only happen when you can’t figure out what to do next. But, remembering that hindsight has 20/20 vision, the BEST person for advice on what to do next is your highest self. She knows exactly how she got to where she is. She’s lived it.
While I’m not saying that you shouldn’t ask other people for their advice or opinions, I am saying that you should check with your highest self first.
Other people don’t know how to become the highest version of you; they will NEVER be able to do that because they’re not you. The only thing they can do is tell you their journey to becoming who they are today.
Speaking of today, let’s talk about your current life: circumstances, people in it, situations going on — all of it. If you’re an “I’ll wait for the right time” kind of girl, listen up.
The “right time” will never come. Life will always throw curveballs, and circumstances will pop up that makes living your purpose more difficult than usual. This really comes down to a lack of belief in yourself — that you can’t make your purpose and dreams come to life. Because if the results were 100% guaranteed, and the only catch was that you had to take action every day that was in alignment with your highest self, I know you’d figure out a way to do it.
So, when you feel the urge to talk about how “if things were different THEN I’d be able to…” stop yourself and ask, “What did my highest self do TODAY with my current circumstances to get to where she is?”.
It’ll be tempting to stick to “I don’t know,” but don’t let yourself stop there. Remember, the quality of your life is made up of the quality of your decisions, and to make a change, you’ve got to make new decisions. So decide always to challenge yourself when you say “I don’t know“.
If you do this and actually do the things you answered with, then I PROMISE you will start to feel fulfilled and live your purpose no matter what your life looks like.
One last bonus tip for connecting with your future highest self to start living your purpose today. Connecting to this version of her ensures that you stay aligned with your Core Values. If you haven’t heard me talk about those, check out the Core Values podcast episode here.
The Big Picture
I hope you leave this post knowing that you don’t have to wait until you quit your corporate job, have more time, wait for your partner to be on board, etc., to start living your purpose today.
The only things you need are aware of your thoughts, beliefs, reactions/inactions, and the willingness to connect with the version of you that you want to become.
I promise you that you CAN start to make the impact you want to and take steps that get you closer to making your dream a reality.
And make sure to tune into next week’s episode of the Monica Chats podcast because I’ll share different strategies for defining who your highest self is clearly.
P.S. If you’re ready to start bringing your dreams to life and finally get over the negative self-talk stopping you, then we need to chat! I’m offering a free 1-on-1 virtual call to help you define your goals, pinpoint what’s *actually* stopping you from getting them and what steps you NEED to take to make them a reality. I can’t wait to talk to you then!
Schedule a slot in your time zone below that works well, and I’ll be in touch.