If you know your money beliefs are holding you back from living an abundant life, it’s hard to think about changing them, right? If your bank account doesn’t really match the relationship you’d like to have with money, it feels like an uphill battle.
But my guest on the Monica Chats podcast today has a few things to say about that.
Karin Nelson is a money mindset coach helping moms feel in control of their money. This episode is pure GOLD if you want to change your money beliefs!
What you’ll hear in this episode
- How to start identifying your current money beliefs.
- How urgency is creating your money blocks.
- How to take action towards your money goals.
- How to take baby steps in creating new money beliefs and what “bridging thoughts” are and why you need them.
Listen to the Episode
Read the Episode TranscriptTUESDAY TALKS #6: How to Change Your Money Beliefs
Loved her energy and her conversation, and she ended up coaching me a bit on my money and mindset, and I know from what I learned, I’m like, I have to get this woman onto the show. So I am so excited to introduce Karen to this show. So welcome, Karen. Thank you so much for having me. I’m so excited to be here.
I am excited to have you, and I know that everybody’s going to get some really good, juicy info from you. So we’ll just go ahead and dig right on in. So I would love to know, for those of you that don’t know who you are, who you are, um, what you do and how, who you serve and how you show up.
Karin Nelson: Awesome. Well, I’m Karen Nelson and I am a life and money mindset coach.
So I’ve focus working with women, mostly working single moms, but really any woman, because I know we all struggle with our money mindset. So yeah, I focus with working with working women and helping them. Get past those money blocks that are holding them back. I really like to help women see that it’s totally possible for them to reach any goal they set, whether it’s in their corporate job, their own business that they’re building or whatever it is that like a money problem is just a thinking problem.
And if we can get to the root of the thought, we can totally change your results because of it. I absolutely agree with that. And I think that that framework is definitely something that can be used for almost any problem in your life. But I would love to know, so I can hear a listener and be like, okay, well that sounds cool for somebody making X amount of money, but I’m making this amount of money so I can’t just think my way out of this.
How do you help somebody be able to find the root of the thinking problem and turn this from a money problem into a thinking problem? Well, what you have to realize is that money is neutral. It really is. So I like to use the example of, let’s say you win the lottery. Let’s say you win $5 million in the lottery and you don’t have the money yet.
You actually just spent a dollar on your lottery ticket and you just barely found out that you win $5 million. And. Before you found out you were thinking things maybe like, Oh, how am I gonna make my ends meet this month? And I’m just been really struggling with, you know, my money. And then you, when you find out you win and immediately your thoughts probably change to something like, wow, I can pay off my debt now and I can go on that vacation and I can maybe buy a house.
Your money has not changed. The number in your bank account literally has not changed. In fact, it’s probably down a dollar because you just bought a lottery tickets. It’s your thinking about the money that has changed. So when you can identify these limiting thoughts where these Scott, these thoughts about scarcity that are kind of holding you back, it will change how you feel inside.
Which will change the actions that you take. So if you say something like, well, I only make this amount of money, I would say right there, that’s the poison thought. I only make this amount of money. Let’s think about it in a different way. It’s going to give you a feeling of competence or determination or capability, which is going to create an action that is going to be way different.
Ben one coming from Mmm detriment or woe is me or victim hood. Does that make sense? It absolutely makes sense. You’d be coming from a different place. So how do you recommend for people to start noticing their thoughts? I mean, because that is. Just, that can be a minefield for somebody that has never even attempted to look at their own thoughts, or perhaps they have the meditating, the journaling and things like that for every other area of their life, but you know, money might be such an issue for them that they are just even scared of getting started.
Monica Frederick: Where would you recommend for somebody who is just so scared of maybe money or where they are with money or that they will, maybe the fear that they will never have enough? Where would you recommend them to start with that.
Karin Nelson: Yeah. There are a couple of things that I like to do with my clients. So we first, like you said, we have to recognize the thought because awareness truly is the first step.
And I like to just remind my clients that you have to be a willing to be aware without judging yourself. So whether you’re in, you know, $12,000 worth of debt or whatever it is. It just start looking at that as like a neutral number. Again, it’s just a number on a screen and it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person and it doesn’t mean you’re amazing if you have $12,000 in your savings account, like it’s just a number and you have to just.
Look at that without judgment and be aware. So there are a couple of ways you can become aware of your thoughts. Um, you can journal about it. Like you said, what I like to have my clients do is start with journal prompts, and one of them that I like to use is starting with . The question money was, so what did money mean to you in the past?
Like what did you learn from your parents and what did you learn from society and your friends at school and the rich people in town and the poor people in town? And literally just look at all of your thoughts without judgment and write them down. Don’t start to write something and say, no, no, no, no, no.
I don’t want to have that in my. But I don’t want to think that. Just write it down like it’s okay. We’re not going to judge your thoughts and I don’t want you to judge them. And then the next prompt I like to have my clients write on is money is what is money to you right now? And write your thoughts.
And these can be good thoughts or bad. And I’m going to put good and bad. You can’t see my fingers, but I’m doing finger quotes because good and bad is really relative to the person. So what, just what are your thoughts about money right now? And then the last journal prompt I like. To use his money will be like, what do you want money to be to you in the future?
What do you want it to mean? Where do you want to go? Where do you see yourself with money? And so once we’ve written all of those down or past or present, and our future. We can really start to dig into the thoughts that are holding you back. And I don’t want, like sometimes I have clients who are like, well, I have a lot of thoughts now and I don’t even know where to start.
And so the, the feeling of, of overwhelm times, and I just like to remind them, look. This is not something that we have to do all in one day. We are going to take it one thought at a time and just think if you were to do that for an entire year and just did one thought a day or one thought a week, how far you would be in one year with your money thoughts and the blocks that have been holding you back, you will be so much farther than you are right in this moment.
And it doesn’t have to be done in one day and it’s okay. You know? It’s just like with anything. We’re not going to build it in one day. We’re not going to build our business in one day. We’re not going to finish our school in one day. It’s going to take time, and that’s okay. Like there’s nothing wrong with.
The amount of time that it takes. It’s a matter of how dedicated you are and willing to put in the work to change those thoughts in the first place.
Monica Frederick: I absolutely agree, and I remind my clients all the time, as well as like, you know, anytime that you want to change a thought about yourself, whether it is about money or maybe it’s about body image or what literally, whatever it is, if it’s something that you’ve been dealing with since you were young, I mean you’ve had literally decades and decades.
Basically practice repeating these types of thoughts to yourself. So how are you ever going to be able to change that in one day? I mean, we’ve gotta be able to manage expectations when it comes to being around that and just not, and again, like what you said, not being overwhelmed by thinking about all of these thoughts.
Again, these are like 2030 40 50 plus years of these. Types of money, thoughts that you’re digging into. So it is a lot, but you don’t have to make it more than what it is right in that moment chunk. Yeah, that is perfect. I think that’s wonderful. Yeah. It’s so true. I think. I think it’s really important to understand that because I know that there are a lot of people who have this urgency about, I have to get it done right now.
I have to do it right now. Otherwise where am I going to be? Or how am I going to accomplish my goals? And I think a lot of times it’s that urgency that really is kind of a limiting belief that kind of holds us back because we put so much pressure on ourselves that we kind of just. Stay stuck. We’re like, well, if I can’t do it in this amount of time, then I’m just not going to do it at all.
And so I think it’s really important to just like have grace with yourself and be okay with where you’re at and be okay with it taking as long as it needs to take. Absolutely. Because, and at the end of the day, if this were to take, you know, a year or two years or however long, but you’ve. You did get to a point to where you wanted to be thinking about money and not having heart palpitations.
Wouldn’t that be worth it even longer than you expected? Is wouldn’t that be worth it? Instead of, you know, another 2030 40 plus years of freaking out about it, right? Yes. Yes. Absolutely. You are 100% right. Oh, I love this. And so, okay, so we’re journaling basically our past, our present and our future, which I am in to that idea, like right off, right up this recording, I’m like, Oh, okay.
I want to do this too. Um, so I love that, and I love that you can be . Where are you, where, where you currently are. Then you have the option to be able to see where you are versus where you want to go and start thinking about that bridge. And so if you, if, if it’s all right, I’d love to focus a little bit on that bridge from where we are to where we want to go.
Cause I can see, I could just imagine the listener being right now, like, okay, I get journaling about the past because I need to understand like where this all came from, blah, blah, blah. I need to understand where I am now so that way I can move. But maybe the, the, um. What they’re thinking about, what I want money to be.
Maybe that seems so far away. So how can we take, I mean, I’m a big believer in action. Um, and so as you had said earlier, you know, your thoughts become the actions that you take. So how do we get to the point of taking those actions in order to, um, get to where you want to go without. Getting to where you want to go, being this gigantic nebulous like, Oh, maybe I would love to someday feel like this.
Karin Nelson: Yeah. And I think sometimes we kind of have to think someday I might. So let’s say that somebody has this thought right now that it’s hard to make money and in the future they don’t want to have that thought anymore. They really want it to be like, money comes so easily to me. And. I like to, you have to start with where you’re at right now.
So we have to take a look at that original thought. It’s hard to make money and then take a look at how you feel when you think that bot, I would say most people think defeated maybe, or, um, yeah. Frustrated. But that’s how this truth that our brain is just telling them. And then take a look at when you feel frustrated or when you feel defeated.
How do you show up? Are you going out there and taking, taking the action that you want to take? Probably not. I’m going to guess you’re probably hiding a little bit. Maybe your, um, vegan out with some Netflix when you probably should be working on your business or studying for a test or, you know. Pushing yourself to really be the best employee that you want to be or whatever it is.
Like I’m guessing that when you’re feeling defeated, you’re not showing up the way you want to be, which is just going to continue that result. Then it’s hard to make money because your thoughts always will show up in your result line every single time. So the next step, if you want to start getting rid of that limiting belief.
Is to come up with a thought that is going to give you a feeling of confidence, determination, um, a feeling of, I’ve got this like really belief in yourself. So I’d like to ask my clients what thought makes you feel that way? Well, maybe you can answer Monica. What thought you wanted to feel confident and you didn’t want to think money is hard to make.
What thought could you think instead that you could start to replace that with? So you’re not going all the way to, it’s easy to make money cause you’re not there yet. That belief is not there, but like what’s maybe a little baby step that you could take.
Monica Frederick: Hm. A thought that I love this. This is fun. Okay. A thought that would make me feel confident in just who I am?
Or does it need to be tied to money?
Karin Nelson: Well, I think because money is your ultimate goal. I, I would think money. You would maybe want it to be money. I thought about money, but one that makes you feel confident at the same time.
Monica Frederick: Hmm. Um, maybe, maybe a thought like, I’m proud of where I’m at. I don’t want to say regardless of what I make, because that seems a little bit on the on the side who don’t want to go, but I’m confident in where I am and I’m proud of.
I’m proud of the accomplishments I’ve had in my career.
Karin Nelson: Yeah, I like that. I think that’s great. I think that’s a really good stepping stone to get you to the next level. I like to call them bridging thoughts, so it’s kind of like your honest bridge and to take the next step, you think the next small thought that’s going to get you closer to your goal of the other side of the bridge.
Um, another one that I really like to use is just a word, like it’s possible that I could make money easily in the future. Yes. Or there are people who make money easily. So it’s just a matter of like taking that original thought. It’s hard to make money and just maybe replacing a couple of words here and there.
Like, and it doesn’t even necessarily have to be about you, like possible that I know people who think it’s easy to make money or have an easy time making money and you work on that thought. I don’t know if your listeners really know how to replace thoughts or really know much about how our brain work.
Monica Frederick: Oh, please dig in. I mean, I think they do don’t necessarily, it’s always a good reminder.
Karin Nelson: So. What we have in our brain is called neural pathways, and basically a thought is just, or a belief is just a thought that you’ve thought over and over and over. And so it’s really easy for our brain to go back to that pathway because.
It’s kind of like, you know, just a path on the road when there is no path, it’s a little bit harder to drive your car on it, right? Like it’s bumpy and their Ms. May be grown grass and whatever, and the more you drive your car along that path, the deeper it’s going to get and the easier it’s going to get to cross it.
So that’s kind of how our neural pathways in our brains work. And so it is. Eight you are able to replace those with new thoughts and new beliefs, but because they’ve been ingrained, like you said, over years and years and years, we have to keep redirecting to the new thought. So even if you came up with this thought, I’m proud of where I’m at right now and where I’m going.
Your brain still wants to go back to, yeah. But it’s hard to make money. And so that’s when you get to take control of your brain, cause you’re in charge. Right? I mean, we can live a passive life and just let our brain direct us where we want, but why do we want to? Exactly. We want to be in charge of what our thoughts and feelings and actions are.
And so this, when your brain comes back with you, yeah. But remember, it’s hard to make money. That’s when you get to say, Hey, guess what? That’s what we used to think. But now remember. I’m proud of where I’m at and I’m proud of where I’m going, or it’s possible that it can be easy for me to make money or whatever thought you choose is going to make you feel confident.
You just get to redirect and every time your brain’s going to keep doing it and you just redirect to that new thought and redirect to that new thought and redirect. I’m pretty soon that old neural pathway will be replaced by this new one and then once you feel confident in that and you start thinking about it automatically.
You can move on to the next thought, which maybe will be, it’s easy to make money. Oh, that is gold. I hope you guys were really listening in on there and maybe hitting the rewind button on what she just went into. I think, first of all, I love that we came up with a real example with me, so thank you for that.
That was fun. Not to mention that it’s so I, I mean, I know, I could clearly see it and I know that listeners are going to be able to clearly identify like, Oh, this is exactly what I can do. It’s not this, um, kind of like, um. Feel good. Like, Oh, if I write it down every single day, it’s going to happen. Like what you’re talking about is not only science, but it’s something that you can take action on every day.
And you know, just like what you were talking about when you make that road, like it’s something that you’ve done for years and years. And then so with that idea of like we have to keep consistent with this, this is not, it’s a simple idea, the principle of doing this as simple, but the key is the consistency part is catch yourself even when you don’t want to, even when you don’t feel like it.
But if you can catch yourself in that moment, and. TA take that power, Brack back inside of your own brain and redirect those thoughts to where you want to go, man, your life is going to change. Yes. One of the things that is one of my favorite thoughts to go to is I like to talk to my brain more than I listened to it a freaking mess.
And I literally talk out loud to myself, very girl. And sometimes people look at me like I’m crazy and I’m like, no, I’m actually in tune with who I am. Yes, yes. Because. If you just, I mean, you can choose to live your life however you want, obviously, and so it’s not like I’m sitting here saying, well, you, if you want to have the best life ever, you need to do it this way.
Live your life however you want. But if you don’t want to live a passive life where you’re just bouncing around and you’re not living like intentionally. And you’ve got to talk to your brain because your brain is always going to go to the negative. It’s always going to go to what’s going to conserve energy and what’s easiest.
That’s what our brains do. That’s part of their job is to conserve energy and to protect us, and sometimes getting uncomfortable and thinking about things that we’ve never thought about is it feels really scary to our brain, and so we have to talk back to it and say, no, look, this is the way it is. This is where we’re going.
I’ve got you. Let’s go together. You know? Got a fricking, then I could not have said that any better. And I think especially for those who are listening, who are, you know, cause I have some people who are thinking about starting their own business or they’re thinking about a career change because they want more money or they just want to be able to have more control over their lives.
I think remembering that is going to be key is just being like, Hey, it’s, this is scary and it’s going to take more energy. But come on fear, come on brain. You can come with me, but I’m in charge here. Yes. So yeah, that makes me think back to probably, I mean, for a really long time, I’d want to do something, whether it was like work with an MLM or start my own business, or just whatever.
I mean, I’m thinking like 10 years ago it was something that I really wanted to do. I just didn’t know how, and I didn’t really know what it was that I wanted to do. And I remember just like sitting here now looking back, thinking. If I had just started, I was so scared to do something. I was so scared to get out of my comfort zone.
I was so scared to go meet new people or try and figure out the next step and. If I had started 10 years ago, look how far I would have been. Well, I started like really figuring it out and digging in about four years ago and really dedicating myself over the last year or two, my coaching business, and I do, I look back just over that last year about how far I’ve come.
And how much I’ve grown because I’ve been willing to push myself out of my comfort zone because I’ve been willing to take a look at my thoughts and question them. Like, is that really true? Do I have to keep believing that? Is there something else that’s going to serve me better? Like it’s just a matter of being willing to go for it.
Like, yeah, it’s scary building a business and it’s scary doing something that you’ve never done before, but it’s totally worth it. And where you can see that little bit of progress. Oh man, it’s. It’s exhilarating. Yeah, it really is. It just makes my day thinking, look where I started and look how far I’ve come.
This is amazing. Exactly. I like to think of being in that place of like power within yourself is like, um, pushing your insecurities back into the cave and back into their little kids. They belong and more and the more and more you can tame those little base and put them back into there. Their caves and you know, keep your insecurities there and then realize how much control you have over your life and your thoughts.
Oh, man. I mean, it’s a high you can’t get off of. That’s the best time. Yeah. Oh my gosh. It really is the best. I agree. This has been such gold. I literally cannot wait to put this episode out. I’m like, okay, when can we get this in? Because everybody needs to hear this. I know that I loved working with you and I know that there are so many people out there that need your services and to be able to know more about you.
So where can my listeners know go to go and get some more care and goodness in their life? Awesome. Well, I love to talk with people. I love to try and identify a problem or identify a thought that maybe is holding you back. So I actually have a 20 minute coaching mini session that’s free that you can sign up for on my website.
My website is Karen Nelson, coaching.com it’s K a, R I N N E L S O N coaching.com. And yeah, I just get on the phone with me and let’s figure out this problem that you’re having and let’s work through it and then we can figure out if you want to keep working with me. Amen. I love it. Uh, Karen, this has been so good.
And then of course, I will make sure that everything is up on the show notes and LinkedIn there. Thank you so much for coming on the show and I, like I said, I’m so excited to get this episode out. Awesome. Thank you so much for having me. It’s been awesome.