Did Your Dreams Get Crushed? Here’s What to Do.

I know I don’t need to ask you if you’ve ever had your dreams get crushed. 

You have. 

So have I, and so has everyone else. We both know that feeling, right? It feels like your stomach drops right out of your body. If you’re anything like me, you start questioning what you should do next and if you’ll EVER be able to dream again. 

If that’s you too, then welcome, my friend. But, you don’t have to stay in that feeling for long. There’s one thing I truly believe, and it’s that your questions become answered when you start to move.

Wondering what that means? 

It means that if you want to change the way you’re feeling now and stop questioning yourself, you’ve got to take action.

And what might that action be?

Well, let’s get to it! 

Become aware of the belief you have. Are you 100% sure (without a shadow of a doubt) that your goal is NOT attainable to you? 

I mean, if you had to go under oath, can you say with 100% certainty that your isn’t possible? That your dreams are truly crushed? If the answer is yes, then ask yourself, “Is this possible to happen differently?” or maybe “Is there another way this goal can happen in a way that I haven’t thought of yet?”

The point here is not to close things off entirely that don’t need to be. If you’ve decided that “yes, there’s no possible way that this could happen in any other way than I expected it to,” it closes you off to other possibilities that you may not have thought of yet even if it seems impossible. 

When you leave a door open for things to work out (or even for help from the universe ), you may stumble across a solution that you would have never imagined. 

So, if you’re saying your dreams are crushed, and there’s no way of bringing them to life, then keep reading. 

The way to get out of any funk (like uncertainty or sadness) is to take action on something.

I mean action like RIGHT — in this moment. Are you scared? Or unsure of the future? Then you know you’re doing it right. 

I always think of feeling lost and afraid of the future, like being in a fog.

If you stand still (stuck, scared, etc.), it’s easy to look around and not see a clear path in front of you. In your eyes, the world is dark and grey for 360°. If you stand still long enough, it’s even easier to decide that your whole world is dark and grey.

But you know what happens when you start moving forward? More things in front of you become clear. 

Yes, you may stumble over a pile of rocks you didn’t see earlier. Or maybe you’ll walk right into a tree. But once you get up and dust yourself off, you can see a way around the tree. 

And sure, you don’t know if you’re taking steps on the right path. But, eventually, you’ll reach higher ground. The fog will clear, and you’ll look down and see all that was in your path.

But you’ll be so grateful that you got to higher ground and that you’re able to see clearly that you’ll wonder why you let the fog keep you standing still for so long. 

So what does this crazy extended metaphor have to do with anything?

If you get into action (and I mean ANY action, no matter how big or small), that’s when the fog starts clearing. That’s when the “I’m feeling lost” emotion starts to fade away. 

It could be significant steps like creating a plan of action to accomplish a new goal. Or it could even be as small as getting up and taking a shower if you’ve been sitting still and worrying for too long. 

My point is to shift your brain from “why are these things happening *to* me” to “what can I do to make my life better *right now*.” 

That mindset will be what gets you unstuck. 

Will it work immediately? Nope!

But with most life-changing shifts, it takes consistency to work. 

The Nitty-Gritty Steps

After you’ve taken time to go through these first two ideas, now it’s time to move forward. There are two things I always tell my coaching clients… You only have control over two things: 1) How you react to your circumstance, environment, or other people 2) the present moment (a.k.a. right now).

Let’s break it down real quick. 

You can’t control your circumstances, environment, or other people. Try as you might, you can’t control what is not within you. Sure, your actions can impact things. However, the only thing that you know that you have control of the outcome 100% is within you. So you get to decide how your circumstance affects you and for how long. 

As far as the present moment? 

Well, let’s first talk about two other things you don’t have control over: the past and the future. The past is the past. No matter how much you think about the past or wish you could have done things better or wished that something in your past hadn’t happened to you, it did. There’s no changing that. 

The future? Well, you KNOW I’m a lady that LOOOVES to plan, and while planning can certainly help you with your future, there’s no amount of planning that you can do to make it go just the way you want. 

So what are we left with? 

This moment. 

This very second (yes, even as you read these words). You have control over what you do RIGHT NOW. 

While seeing all of these things that you don’t have control over can feel disempowering, I challenge you to think oppositely. 

These two things give you endless amounts of freedom and power within your own life. 

While we don’t know the future, I’m willing to bet you’ve got a LOT of “right now”s and “Present Moment”s left. 

My friend, that’s a lot of opportunities for you to take action and work towards bigger and better dreams.

So, now that I’ve convinced you to take action right here and now, here are a few to get your wheels turning.

1. Ask yourself why those dreams were important. What did those dreams say about you? Give you? How would they have impacted your life? Digging into this will give you the foundations for your new dreams and the motivation to go after it. 
2. Review your answers from number one and start thinking about other ways you can make achieve those. Is there another action you can take, or dream you can have that would give you what you wanted from your original dream?
3. DO NOT LET YOUR PAST STOP YOU. It’s essential not to let your past experiences define your future. Let your dreams guide you forward. Don’t let your past drag you back. This is a hard one, I know. But it’s all too easy to make your past crushed dreams decide how much action you’ll take (if any). 

That crushing feeling of your crushed dreams can feel like you got chopped off at the knees, and you’re not able to move forward. Believe me; I get it. But this doesn’t define who you are or what you’ll be able to accomplish in the future. 

Remember, you have real power over two things: 1) How you react to your situation and 2) your present moment. So what can you do RIGHT NOW to redefine your dreams?

If you need some time to mourn your crushed dreams, then take it! Don’t apologize about it, and don’t be upset with yourself for needing time to heal. But once you get back on your feet. Take action. 

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