Burnout Kryptonite: Self-Romance (How to Love Yourself and Keep Burnout At Bay)

If this year has taught me anything, it’s to treat yourself as someone you genuinely love. Otherwise, burnout will hit like a bag of bricks! For years, when I heard “Self-Love,” I assumed that meant a few extra shopping trips and splurges. Then I realized that I was trying to BUY my love for myself.

I don’t know about you, but anytime I’m in a relationship with anyone, and I realize they would rather patronize me and buy gifts rather than truly work our relationship, I didn’t think highly of them.

Are you buying yourself love or avoiding working on your relationship with yourself by binging TV, eating extra comfort food, shopping, or some other vice? If this sounds familiar, this episode of the Monica Chats podcast is for you!

If you prioritized yourself the same way you would a lover, you’d naturally keep burnout at bay.

Self-love is a super trendy topic (#SelfLove has over 53 million tags!). But even with it talked about all over the place, it’s still low on the daily priority list for most people.

In this episode, we’re going into why romancing yourself will hold you accountable to take action on your goals and how to start. I’m not talking about occasional trips to the spa or retail therapy; I’m talking about how to love being in your own company and prioritizing the promises you make to yourself.

When you prioritize yourself, you fill your time with thoughts, emotions & actions that SERVE you.

If you googled “burnout,” you’d read something along the lines of “A state of emotional and physical exhaustion caused by prolonging periods of stress and frustration.” My favorite definition is from Urban Dictionary — “not giving a shit.”

When you hold yourself in the same regard as a lover, you start thinking about all the things YOU desire and finding ways to make them happen. Like, when you’re in love, and they mention they really want to go hiking, you find ways to make it happen, even if you’ve never been.

The same happens when you intentionally decide to LOVE yourself. When you do, you prioritize your desires and your needs. Think about it, if you spent even just the same amount of time focusing on filling your needs and desires as you do for other people, how much of that prolonged frustration would naturally fade away?

Don’t get it twisted, though; this isn’t about becoming narcissistic or arrogant and not caring about what other people want or need. This idea is about making sure that you’re in a better position to help others — mentally, physically, and spiritually.

You’ve heard the phrase before, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” So with that logic, prioritizing your needs is the LEAST selfish thing you can do!

A Bonus? When you spend your time thinking self-loving thoughts and taking actions that serve you (a.k.a. help you live the life you want), you don’t have as much time for things that DON’T serve you.

For example, you obsessing about other people’s opinions, regretting the past, living in fear of making the wrong decisions, etc.

When you love someone, you follow through on your promises. Self love= believing yourself when you say you’ll do something

How many times have you promised yourself that you’re going to do something, only to give it up later? (Looking at you, 2017 new years resolutions…)

This step is essential if you want to raise your self-esteem or feel better about yourself in general. The more you follow through on what you say you will do, the more you respect yourself.

Think about it like this, if you had a friend who regularly promised things, but they never followed through, how long would you stay friends with them? Even if you did decide to stay friends with them, there’s only so far your relationship could go with them. It would be like keeping them at arm’s length so the next time they don’t follow through, it wouldn’t hurt as much.

If you don’t follow through with what you tell yourself, your relationship with yourself suffers, and you want to avoid fixing any real damage in your self-relationship. The problem is, you can’t keep yourself at arm’s length distance.

Your relationship with yourself is the longest and most committed relationship you will ever have. You’ll be with you until the end. If your relationship with yourself is so meaningful, wouldn’t it be best if you treated it like it was?

With a lover, you’re excited to spend time with them, and you plan for it. What would change if you were excited to spend time for yourself?

Have you ever started a relationship and moved things around to spend time with that person? Like, before you met them, you were probably already busy, and none of those previous appointments change just because you meet someone. But after you fall for someone, you do just about anything to spend time with them.

Why? Because you prioritize them. They make you happy, so you create time to spend with them.

So, what about when you love yourself? Or when you’re excited to spend time with yourself taking action on your goals? You wouldn’t need to push yourself, grind, or hustle your way to accomplishing your goals. You would take action and do it simply because you WANT to.

Frustration happens with forcing yourself to do things you don’t want to do, and if you keep that up, burnout happens. But if we change the dynamic of your relationship with yourself and focus on changing the way you feel about spending time with yourself, it’s the best way to prevent burnout from taking hold.

The Big Picture

Recognizing your true desires and taking action on what’s important to you — and reminding yourself that you deserve it– gets rid of frustration. When you keep your promises to yourself and treat yourself as you would a romantic, it makes you a lot easier to be around!

We’re going to be going into this more in-depth in season two of the Monica Chats podcast, so if you’re not already, make sure you subscribe to the podcast wherever you listen.

When you’re ready to implement what we talk about on the podcast and want to turn this into a customized action plan with tailored-to-you virtual coaching and accountability, book a free call with me to get started.